Originally published at GIBBERINGS. You can comment here or there.As a man of wealth and taste, I have a vested interest in boutique cosmetic retailers such as the inimitable Aromaleigh, makers of fine mineral makeups.  Recently, Aromaleigh’s owner, a charming woman by the name of Kristen, decided to start using a website called LiveCloud to manage how Aromaleigh interacted with its large customer base.  I received an email a while ago notifying me that some sort of registration was taking place while she moved her user accounts to LiveCloud.  Fair enough.  I ignored it, never having been active on the Aromaleigh forums but certainly open to the possibility. In the past few days I have been receiving topic reply spam from LiveCloud, where the Aromaleigh discussions had apparently just gotten started.  I received twenty or thirty emails and wondered just what the hell I had been signed up for, and why I was receiving notifications on forums items that I had nothing to do with.  I clicked from a LiveCloud email through a “notification settings” link to the LiveCloud site, where I was forced onto my own profile page, and not allowed to leave the page until I had filled out information such as sex, location, and so on. At that point I was just looking for a Delete Account button, LiveCloud having pissed me off.  I looked and looked, turned up no such buttons in all the Settings, Account, and FAQ tabs I investigated, and absolutely no instructions on the topic in

Originally published at GIBBERINGS. You can comment here or there. MC Frontalot has given me the go-ahead to let all you little sweat cadets in on his new album a full month ahead of schedule. We’ll be listening to ZERO DAY, for which I did the back cover illustration, starting at 3pm PST TOMORROW. I’ll be running the sweet tunes while Clayton Chenault and I team up in my studio to paint some massive bullshit. Will you be there? You bet your sweet bippy! SWEATSHOP.TV

Originally published at GIBBERINGS. You can comment here or there.Have you been to http://toxoplasm.org/gibberings/ lately? Turn off Adblock and give it a shot. The right sidebar has a stack of new Project Wonderful slots that are willing and waiting to be filled with your ads. The minimum bid right now is a whopping $0, and will continue to be until the price is driven up by bidders. Project Wonderful is pretty badass; we’ve been using it on Ectomo for years and have always been pleased with it. As I slide further into self-sufficiency, it’s vital that I find ways of monetizing my entire operation, and this is a fine first step. So do me the favor of adding TOXOPLASM.ORG to your list of Adblock exceptions. Consider it a tip in my rattling, filthy cup.

Originally published at GIBBERINGS. You can comment here or there.Continuing my proud tradition of cutting out the middle man, and by that I mean actually taking a knife to Etsy headquarters and waving it around the mailroom until security showed up, I have created an onsite page that will make all your dankest fears manifest. All you have to do, is turn your monitor to its lowest setting. Stare at your reflection in the screen for a full minute, then say “CANDYMAN” in a quiet falsetto until you smell bees in the room. Ith liek thith cubcaketh ith awivvvve! Now, make sure your cursor is hovering over THIS LINK. The VERY FIRST sting you receive, click like you have never clicked before. A warning, though: anything on the BUY ART page that you do not personally purchase, will be transmuted to raw gaseous apitoxin, which will then be packed in an inflatable orca and mailed to you C.O.D. THE KILLER WHALE: africanized honeybee of the sea. Original art is now available at this link: http://toxoplasm.org/buy.php

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Tonight’s Batman, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. I’ll vectorize the shit out of this.

Originally published at GIBBERINGS. You can comment here or there.And then Stabler gets really upset and roughs up some perp and gets in trouble! In the internet broadcasting system, art-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In the SWEATSHOP, the dedicated artists who perpetuate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the SWEATY VICTIMS UNIT. These are their t-shirts. (t-shirts with DICKWOLF [not to be confused with Dick Wolf] reverse are $3.00 on top of the price, due to CafePress fees for back-printing.) http://www.cafepress.com/sweatshopSVU

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.NO CAKE. EVER. You should RSVP on Facebook here. THE CAUSE: Remember when we raised an obscene amount of money for pinup model Lorraine’s medical bills? Well, it’s the time again. THE ART: Sweathog Skinny Rydell’s $45 Commission is far overdue. Since the lady herself is in Scotland, and we want her to be in the audience, Saturday will feature a special afternoon SWEATSHOP to allow for the time difference. There will be a break at 11:30pm for lunch. HOW DOG GO BALLOON? THE MODEL: Samantha Klapp is a filmmaker, clothing designer and fashionista from Seattle. She and I have been friends for nigh on seven years, and recently she underwent surgery to remove pre-cancerous aberrations in her very GUTS. Being a student and an American, the medical bills have nearly bankrupted her. As she refuses to accept charity like any sane person would (my generous offerings of blood-stained dolla billz), I’ve offered her some work as my model: Sam will be posing for one of my commissions, and you will be stuffing benjamins into her garter. Sam has featured in many of my best works over the years, including The Cardiographer (oil on wood, 2007) and The Ectomancer (digital, 2008). She is a sylph-like brunette with huge, dark eyes, elegant tattoos, and a carriage that is both pristine, and unassuming. Do not miss your chance to really study her. GO TO SWEATSHOP NOW.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.I saw her at one of the tables downstairs first, sitting and examining her nailpolish, the maribou on her collar stroking her jaw like cilia. This pink fluff pulsed in time with the band onstage, their bass punching us all, forcing our heartbeats. But it was small-scale warfare in the nearly-empty club. I had felt bad for them, knowing how performers must suckle at their audiences, until I had watched them for a few songs. The lead singer threw himself into his lyrics, but his self-focus was revolting, like he was massaging some deep pressure point. His band was feverish, punishing their instruments, playing for each other. Spaced, he lifted his face to breathe between squalls, caught me looking, blinked away. I was close enough to see his blown pupils, his brows crimped in grief or anxiety. But all singers look that way. It’s affectation. Artists faking passion, to make it palatable to audiences embarrassed by real feeling, which is there all along. The girl in the maribou was talking to a man when I turned back. The strobe obscured his specifics, he was just a hulk in front of her. One of the security guards, I thought, until he dropped something that she snatched from the table, stuffed into her bra. She stood and smoothed her front, yelling something to the older woman beside her, who nodded, and smiled tightly. Maribou held out her hand to the man, who brushed past her and towards the

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. TOMORROW: 17×17 SWEATSHOP feat. new art: "Berlin by San Francisco", originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. </div> Thursday the 7th at the X17 Gallery, the very first LIVE SWEATSHOP will feature an entirely new format: the Street Art Assembly Line. This is a laser-cut stencil of one of my previously-unreleased graffiti art sprays. It is brand new, has never been sold, and tomorrow will be your chance to get an original spray from this stencil on canvas, paper, or the surface of your choosing. Call them "original prints", if you will. Bring your own surfaces! Stencil is approximately 11 x 17", so make sure your surface is big enough. Original prints, made to order, while you watch. SWEATSHOP TRIUMPHS AGAIN. SWEATSHOP 17×17 hosted by the X17 Gallery 619 Western Ave Seattle, WA 6pm-10pm

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.MY EYES bit.ly/17×17 SWEATSHOP @ X17 6pm – 10pm 619 Western Ave Experiment 17 Gallery FREE SNACKS Last night I dropped by the Experiment 17 gallery in downtown Seattle. Up an ancient checkered lift and into a chartreuse warehouse, popped with fuchsia and pastel. The theme of the show is STRANGE, and I’ll be joining forces with Redd Walitzki, Carl Faulkner, Joe Vollan, Noah Beasley, and Ian Hanschen. Ian, who is an accomplished hacker and roboticist, has joined forces with me in an extremely ambitious project that may or may not come to fruition in time for the show. Hedging my bets, I’ve decided to run a SWEATSHOP concurrently with the show, and I’ll be streaming a live painting, or paintings, from the X17 show floor. So whether or not our insane project is finished in time, there will be BLEEDING EDGE art available at this show. But most importantly, there will be free snacks and a donation-based bar. Which is, really, the only reason to show up to a vernissage in the first place. I’ll see you there. And, as always, show up and say you’re from the Internet, and get a free sketch on the spot!

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.UPDATE: If you are interested in purchasing Robot Noodle Screentone Study, please contact Oli at Hatch Kingdom: info@hatchkingdom.com. Bidding starts at 69 euro. As a sort of lead-in to my upcoming solo show at the Hatch Gallery/Sticker Museum in Berlin, I agreed to submit a piece for the Oversized and Underpriced charity art auction. I’m remiss in my posting here, as this actually happened tonight (or is happening right now). This is probably going on right now. 60 + artists create an oversized version of the Urban Art sticker classic “POST PÄCKCHEN” The DIN A3 unique stickers will be presented in the exhibition “OVERSIZED & UNDERPRICED” at the museum in Berlin-Friedrichshain and will be auctioned for a social purpose. Opening Event: 17th December, 19:00 @ hatch, Dirschauer Str. 16, 10245 Berlin-Friedrichshain Exhibition: December 17th -20th and from January 6th -24th Opening times: We -Fr: 13:00-19:00, Sat/Sun: 14:00-18:00 December 20th & January 24th: Coffee / Cake / Art Sundays (for free) In order to collect more donations with OVERSIZED & UNDERPRICED ROUND TWO, this time the art pieces will be auctioned, starting from the date of opening: 17th of December 2009 on www.hatchkingdom.com & www.myspace.com/oversizedandunderpriced. Bids to: info@hatchkingdom.com or directly on myspace. From February, a tour of the exhibition is planned – until the end of this

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.CODPIECES = GOOD MUSIC (reposted from Tumblr) Picked up another copy of the Lost Highway soundtrack, which I haven’t had since it went missing sometime before I had the ability to rip mp3s. I believe my original copy of the disc was found in a CD notebook someone had lost out a car window on the side of the road. It contained a lot of discs that, while cheesy to the extreme on the surface, were incredibly cool (to a 14-year-old) once broken in. Lost Highway, yes, but also Spawn, Mortal Kombat, and Batman Forever (Michael Hutchence, Nick Cave, and even U2, who had on that disc the only cool U2 song outside of the Million Dollar Hotel score). And of course, one copy of Jagged Little Pill. Because there didn’t exist a stack of CDs in the 90s that didn’t contain at least one copy of Jagged Little Pill. Don’t ask me why; it was some sort of corollary to the laws of physics, subtly altered during that particular era. You had no idea this wasn't a terrible album. The real hidden gem in that collection was Joan Osborne’s “Relish”, the album that hosted her one and only hit, “What If God Was One of Us”. A more irritating song, I have trouble summoning. Despite this, the rest of the album was not only good, it was totally unlike its flagship track. And this is where I first discovered one Law of Pop Music: the radio hit of a given band will bear no resemblanc

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.In theory, it’s possible to implement a Greasemonkey script that runs the localized complaint form for whatever site you’re visiting. Imagine this: It would be installed as a toolbar button labeled “I HATE YOU”. You’re surfing eBay and notice someone’s selling used panties. This is very much against the rules. What’s worse, the panties aren’t even your size. This makes you furiously angry. Luckily, you installed Hatr, and your revenge is at the touch of a button. HORSECOCKS Hammering I HATE YOU runs a script which takes you automatically to the localized complaint form, where you can quickly and easily deliver your rage to interested parties. On Twitter it would trigger block/spam. On Facebook it would defriend, block, and open a report form. On 4chan it would flag the user to the FBI for child pornography. Basically, anything you can possibly do to attack someone with website infrastructure, Hatr would put at your fingertips. I am now accepting venture capital.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.As of yesterday, I have confirmation of the sale of the Vacuum Traffic Controller, my largest painting to date. It will ship to Connecticut after Christmas, following a long-needed repair job for the damage sustained during my heroic journey to Seattle from Oakland. It’s a long story, but at one point I had to use the painting (which is about the size of a refrigerator) as a slip-n-slide to foil some rapists that were chasing me in a taco truck. But that’s ancient history. I plan to dig out the tortilla fragments and touch up the tire tracks, then stuff the whole thing in a Greyhound, which I recently discovered will ship giant things for very little money. Supposedly.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.My little friend Jhonen Vasquez was feeling down in the dookies the other night.  I make it a habit of scanning the BBC for important world news every day, and had found a story on an Irish clergyman who had molested one girl for eight years, from ages 10 through 18.  She is now 44, and the court decided not to jail her tormentor because of extenuating medical circumstances: he’s morbidly obese, wheelchair-bound, and covered in ulcerating sores. Instead, they fined him £10,000 and…what?  Let him roll into the sunset?  The article is unclear. But man, how can you help loving this sort of thing, meaning that you hate it with an intensity that’s actually delicious. Our discussion of the case, and the proposed fate of the offender, is making internet history over on JV’s blog.  He even illustrated it. EG: This will cheer you up: EG: A 66-year-old church elder convicted of indecently assaulting a child will not be sent to jail because his obesity means his health is “precarious”. EG: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/8393463.stm JV: they should hurt the old man. EG: They really should. EG: What will they do, put him under house arrest? EG: He’s already obese, he never leaves anyway. JV: they could make him even fatter. JV: and sit him on a couch. EG: Until he becomes ONE with the couch. EG: Wheezing and suffocating under his o

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. I've been up to my bicep in the backside of a cow for approximately three seasons. From Latin aquilas, eagle-like. Almost exclusively applied to noses, but I expand the description to encompass the face, body, and expressions of men that wend through my drawings. Beefghost asked in the Sweatshop last night, “Is there a name for that sort of face? The kind that you draw?” And verily, there is. The aquiline face accompanies certain personalities, in my experience. The artists, writers, and musicians of my acquaintance are from the aquiline race (which manifests across genetics, willy-nilly). Richard Hartnell, now an accomplished contact juggler and circussian, was my boyfriend in middle school. As he’s grown up, his skull has flared and tilted like a stack of gravid pelvises. The underlying bones grew more naked, and it’s more obvious now than it was in 7th grade, what I saw in the wee lad. He’s a musician, a writer, a gamer, an eccentric and an intellectual. Ladies.Broadly-applied, the words describe the rest of the Aquilinos of my acquaintance. Beaked gentlemen with savage brains and mutant personalities. Not human, but satyric (that is, demoniac). They know who they are. At four years old, my parents were already sick of me. Eager to shut me up for an hour, they put me in the Watching Box with a copy of Legend on DVD*, and shut the lid. I came for the unicorns, but

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. A Gentleman of Innsmouth care and feeding instructions Dear [Patron]; Sorry about the delay on this painting. When you paid for it, I sprayed it with a fixative in order to preserve it for shipping. As happens with fixatives sometimes, the shellac altered the surface of the piece, darkening it to the point of obscurity. I have re-created the original painting as much as I can, and while it differs in some ways, the soul of the piece is intact. The actual rendering might even be improved, as I’m probably just a little bit better now than I was when I started this piece last year! In any case, please let me know if the Gentleman is in any way unsatisfactory, and I will take him back and refund your purchase price. Otherwise, enjoy him in good health. Try not to stare at the eyes too much. There’s a reason I let an original painting go at that sort of price… Yrs sncrly, &c; E. Fishhead Revisited, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Wrapping Paper, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. Shipping paper illustration for Jeffrey Grand, who bought A Gentleman of Innsmouth: www.flickr.com/photos/eliza/4037794219/

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.I have gallons and gallons of retired clothing, and YOU shall buy it all. Behold, gaze upon mine Flickr set detailing all my fine wares to date! SOLD! SKIRT: Leather buckle detail, perfect pleats, wool-acrylic blend, this skirt has it all. It’s vintage, in near-perfect condition, and sports an old tag that reads “MADE IN ENGLAND EXPRESSLY FOR D.H. HOLMES LIMITED” Skirt length is 20.5″ from waist to hem. On my leggy mannequin, it hits at the knee, but will be higher or lower depending on your height. The buckles make the waist size adjustable from 25″ to 28.5″ Has TWO buckles at the hip, which is so goddamn cool. PRICE: $20 + $4 shipping. SOLD! CORSET: No brand, probably custom-made. Hook and eye closures up the front, corset lacing in the back. Black satin with strong construction and no hint of warping, buckling, or strain on the bones. Pointed detail on the bust for a wicked motif. Waist is approximately 28″ fully laced, bust and hips are approximately 34″. This piece is sized for someone with athletic proportions who wants a comfortable, versatile and classy corset. Note: This corset has a single hook that has been pulled loose. It is invisible when the corset is laced closed, as you can see, and does not affect the wearing of the corset at all. I have included a detail shot of this damage here. PRICE: $15 + $4 shipping. Previously o

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.I feel like this requires a little explanation. [drag these into your address bar to see them full-size] Edward Gorey wrote The Curious Sofa under the named Ogred Weary. It’s not actually pornographic; the joke is that it’s all implied and incredibly vague. Gorey said in a couple interviews that he was always being told that children loved the Curious Sofa, and that it blew his mind because he couldn’t imagine what children were getting out of it. I don’t know either, I just know I loved it as a kid. It, along with a bunch of his other works, were collected in a volume called Amphigorey which was an adored tome for wee me. I still have it; I stole it from my dad when I went to college. It’s about a young flapper named Alice who is obsessed with grapes. After being picked up by a young man in a park, she goes on an erotic adventure. This is how the Curious Sofa ends: I made another version with some Diffuse Glow. I don’t know if it’s better or not. Live action children’s book adaptations [Something Awful Forums]

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.Date: 2009-11-06, 6:08PM GMTReply to: pers-4zqep-1454237996@craigslist.org Dear Women I am a tall, interesting and physically strong man. I am modern and sexy and have a mattressfull of money that was given to me by an old dead woman that I knew. Dealing with a stressful, substantial inheritance is something I’ve had to endure. Suffice to say, it’s been hard, but I’ve made it though. Thank god. What did I spend the cash on? Well, I spent most of the money on a very large and valuable collection of glass eyes. What was left I spent on a smaller collection of Victorian lace gloves. People are always impressed when I tell them and normally spend some time with me discussing it in more detail, if they have time of course, modern living being so hectic and busy. Womenfriends? Glad you asked, Yes, it’s been odd, I have had a chequered past with females on the whole. I think if any of them were still alive now, they would probably all agree most of the arguments were started by them, I like to think perhaps they regret being so difficult. I split up with my last girlfriend because she kept niggling and nagging about pretty much everything I did, she wouldn’t even let me do an intercourse on any of her friends. So you’re interested? I thought so. My ideal meeting place for our first date would be somewhere neutral in which we can get to know one another without pressure. I suggest a

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.</br> YouTube – Everyone Poops Trailer

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. I can’t get it out of my head, a comment Warren Ellis made months ago about the blog being, effectively, dead.  The blog as a medium unto itself, that is.  He may have been paraphrasing Bruce Sterling in turn, but I find myself agreeing. You know I’m a reject from the gameblog bubble; I did short and angry stints at Kotaku, Destructoid, and Wired.  I was not exactly a hot property, but my special brand of artless gonzo made me lukewarm, maybe, in a brief arena of madness where venture capitalists would PayPal me $12 for a paragraph about how much I despised the latest Mario boilerplate.  Mr. S laughed at me in the car about this yesterday.  “I was railing against the rampant payola in the game industry,” I shouted, “I was the only motherfucker righteous enough not to sit up and pant at the prospect of a weekend at the Burbank Hilton and all the Bawls I could suck down!”  He suggested that some modicum of tact would have brought me through the subsequent gameblog collapse with a cushy writing gig, and plenty more paid trips to Tokyo Games Show. Tact is not what the people wanted, I replied, bringing my fist down on the dashboard.  Which is a half-truth.  And I was laughing. Blogging is dead for me.  I always hated the word.  Ectomo lies fallow, maybe salted under.  The front page is a wasteland of itty bitty posts I&rsquo

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. FOR SALE: Keen Cyberpunk Maryjanes sz 7.5 – $40, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. These are Keen brand, hard-wearing, mary jane-style shoes. Rough and tumble urban design with a badass sole and beautiful black brushed suede upper. They are darker in life than in the photo. I love the little yellow alert symbol the most; it looks like Keen doesn’t even put it on their shoes anymore. These fit your feet in a cushioned embrace and would be perfect for walking, working, or parkour in gritty, futuristic style. They are a 7.5 US Women’s, despite being labelled as a size 8. These are in excellent condition and are practically new. They retailed for $90! These are partly leather. Sorry, vegans! To buy these shoes, PayPal me at eliza DOT gauger AT gmail.com You should look at the rest of the detail shots here.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Lorraine test sketch for tomorrow’s Dancing Bear Benefit, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. The nose is all wrong, but this graceful creature is nonetheless my friend Lorraine, who has just suffered a grievous accident in which she fractured her spine. She is a dancer and a model and is now bedridden, totally unable to support herself. Tomorrow I will be running a tipjar marathon in which I paint portraits of her all day, and collect donations on PayPal for her medical bills. Anyone in their right mind would love a picture of this Frazetta-noir beauty. The paintings, as well as two $50 gift certificates to Clockwork Couture, will be awarded to the highest tippers as the day goes on. BE THERE. SEE THE MAGIC. Sweatshop: www.ustream.tv/channel/sweatshop Whitechapel Sweatshop announcement thread: freakangels.com/whitechapel/comments.php?DiscussionID=688… E. Gauger’s blog: elizagauger.com/gibberings/

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Donna Ricci Paintup Detail, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Donna Ricci’s $45 Paintup Portrait Progress, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. Tomorrow we’ll be adding color.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. A Gentleman of Innsmouth (detail), originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. A Gentleman of Innsmouth, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. A Gentleman of Innsmouth 9×12" acrylic and chalk pastel on wood I completed this in Berlin and it has been imprisoned in the truck of my car since then. Still warm from the streets, this is being offered to the Dibs List and will make its way public if it is not bough by them.

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Outgoing Minicommissions!, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. These eccentric little packages are winging their ways to loving owners at this very moment. Thanks to SWEATSHOP patrons for the good times!

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. Gorgon progress. Still painting at http://ustre.am/3Qjc, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer. ustre.am/3Qjc

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there. The fruits of the Dancing Bear Marathon. Congratulations Kaylynn, Phil and Jas!, originally uploaded by vebelfetzer.